As much as I like to keep this blog upbeat and focused on my work, I need to take a little detour with this post to tell you all about my friend Robert.
I took the above picture about a year ago whilst sitting in my back garden nattering about my uni work and how much it was stressing me out. I only had a month or two left but it felt like a lifetime. I had so much to do, my computer had just broken for the third time and I had deadlines fast approaching; you know how it is. However, Robert just smiled at me and reassured me that I'll get it all done and once it was over I'd wonder what I was ever worrying about.
He was completely right, of course. As he always likes to be.
Whilst sitting there he told me stories about his friend Pete the graphic designer and how he never had much time off work because of his career choices but he loved it all the same. I came to really like Pete the graphic designer, though I never met him. He sounded passionate about his trade, or at least very keen on it.I hope I will feel the same in forty years time!
I think that sums Robert up quite well, really. Always finding the positive in what I would see as a negative. To tell you the truth, he has been setting me back on track for the past 20 years. From grazing my knees as a little girl to winding myself going down that bastard ramp on roller skates that my brother had set up in the garden one summer, to reassuring me that I would get my degree at the end of it all.
And I did get it, thank God. I called him up to tell him I had passed and that I would like to come home now thankyouverymuchandplease because I had had enough, ha. He was just getting over a pretty bad chest infection but he wanted to be the one to pick me up and help me move back home and told me that I shouldn't argue with him as I would lose. Which is what always happened.
He seemed in good health again as we drove the 50 miles back to Manchester from North Wales and even helped me unpack everything when we got there. Ever the helpful and reliable Robert!
It wasn't too long after I'd settled back home that we found out he had cancer. The chest infection was caused by a build up of fluid on his lungs. We all know that there are different kinds of cancer, some serious, some not so serious but all very scary nonetheless.
He continued to come and visit us, tell us his stories, make us laugh. And then he was told that he had lung cancer and would need to start chemotherapy straight away which really tired him out. The cancer became terminal and his health deteriorated very quickly after that. He told me that they were going to stop chemo because all it was doing was making him feel worn out but that he'd probably get a lot better after that.
He mentioned a couple of times that his friend's wife had lung cancer and she'd had it for 20+ years. It wasn't pleasant obviously but she had survived and lived a long life despite her illness. This gave me hope that Robert's case might be similar and that we wouldn't be losing him any time soon, but cancer is an unpredictable bugger and Robert was given weeks to live not long after he stopped his chemo treatment.
If he knew I was writing this he would probably get a good laugh out of it, as he hasn't passed away yet and he'd probably want some sort of input.
I went to see him last week in the hospice and his nurse told us that he only had a couple of weeks, so really it was chance to say goodbye without actually having to say it. Even then he was cracking jokes and reassuring me that everything would work out. He has been part of our extended family for as long as I can remember and I will miss him very, very much!
I guess this ties in with my work a little as Robert has always been really supportive of me and my main focus above everything else is to make him proud :)